new idea let me know what you think

[rob2112]

This is an idea i was working on let me know what you think if i should continue or not. i will go into heavy detail and make like a true fan fic if you guys think i has potenial its really short so let me know what you think here it is

After returning from Terabithia with his sister May bell, she was laughing with a big smile on her face. “Thanks Jesse for showing me where you a Leslie used to go on your adventures.”
Jesse turned and with a slight grin said “no problem princess.”
That night Jesse couldn’t sleep he sat up in his bed, under the covers drawing his queen who has passed on. As a tear runs down his cheek he thinks to himself why didn’t I call for you when Mrs. Edmunds stopped in front of your house. But then a thought popped in to his mind as he thought of Leslie and Mrs. Edmunds.
He remembers saying “That’s what my friend Leslie Burke says, She tells me to keep my mind wide opened.”
Then Mrs. Edmunds replying, “Your friend Leslie is right with your mind you can create a whole new world.”
That’s it he exclaimed nearly waking May bell up.
“I have the mind that can create a world Leslie taught me when we created Terabithia.”
The next morning he walks to the dreadful place where Leslie died, he crossed in to Terabithia and called out for Leslie. No answer. He closed his eyes and screamed at the top of his lungs “LLLLLLEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
He opened them and standing in front of him was Leslie her eyes dazzling from the morning sun’s reflection.
“What are you doing, Jess?”
“I –I came back to see you”
“Jess this isn’t right, this isn’t healthy.”
“I-I know, but I don’t care I wanted to see you. I needed to bring you back.”
“You can’t Jess, and as you know this is your imagination talking not me. I’m Dead.”
“Leslie you would never stop me from using my imagination.”
“Silly you answered your self. Leslie would never stop you from using your mind. You on the other hand would stop yourself if thing got out of hand.”
Jesse sighed and looked back only to see himself.
“You’re right he said, you’re right.”
Jesse looked down and said to his real self “You have a strong mind, and you can see things coming. I bet u even saw this coming….. You knew deep inside Leslie wouldn’t be here.”
The real Jesse fell to one-knee tears streaming down his face and said, “I didn’t want to believe myself.”
His imaginary self started to fade and it said “You should you can be a lot stronger if you believed in yourself. All you need to do is think of what might happen and you may even be able to see what’s coming ahead.”
Jesse fell to the ground in pain
The now ghostly figure put a hand on his shoulder and said, ”Are u alright Jess?” this questioned echoed until the voice suddenly stared to change.
“Are you alright Jesse? Did you forget something?”
Jesse gasped and looked up he was in Mrs. Edmund's rusty old Volvo station wagon in front of his house still.
He said to himself “A strong imagination huh? If I keep my mind opened and think I can see things coming?”

[MiNDGHOSTS]

This is a nice story, Rob! Nice one, deffo see potential.
I have to be honest though and say I got kinda confused and didn't always keep up, but I'm sure your next chapter will be cool! ^_^

[Airam24]

Great writing! Keep it coming.